


all’s well that ends well

by learningcurvette



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Not too shippy, more introspective steve??, steve’s pov on canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24339805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/learningcurvette/pseuds/learningcurvette
Summary: It took years, but Steve learned to let go.the fic where Steve returned the Stones and came back home.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Kudos: 10





	all’s well that ends well

**Author's Note:**

> hi!! it’s my first fic on this fandom so i hope you’re not too harsh on me. it’s been running on my mind for idk years?? since endgame?? yup basically but i just recently found my courage to post it. basically it’s canon, from steve’s pov with his reaction to it. idk i just hope you enjoy this

His mother’s favorite saying was  _ live in the present_.

Steve had lived by those words for years. When he was fighting in the war, the words had transformed to  _ live and fight as if it is your final day _ .

He didn’t stop to think of the fallen comrades or yesterday’s defeats. He mourned them, that was true, but life went on. The past was unchangeable and the future would always be uncertain, but the present was his to make. 

_ Live in the present_ , his mother used to say.

When he was told he was seventy years in the future, he had moved forward, day by day by day. He didn’t ask whether he could go back in time to where he was supposed to be. He didn’t break down and stop functioning. He moved forward.

Steve lived in the present even when he was stranded out of his present. 

He stayed and helped Nick Fury formed his super team. He discovered a new world, internet, and coffeemakers. He came and saved that new world with a bunch of strangers.

Clint Barton, Thor, Bruce Banner, Natasha Romanoff, and Tony Stark. 

He couldn’t bear to look at Stark at first. The same arrogance, the same intelligence as his father. It ached, thinking that he could’ve had a son of his own. Maybe, they would have been best friends. His son and Tony.

He would feel nostalgic then. Seeing shades of Howard in Tony. It was hard to separate the father from the son. It took him longer than he had wanted it to be.

Tony noticed and hated him for it. He was not his father and he refused to. Looking back, Steve hated himself for not being able to gather himself sooner.

He had always done Tony wrong out of everyone.

Steve had always,  _always_ lived in the present. He got better at it, the past became only a dull sensation for him. Then, he met Peggy again.

Peggy who was old and frail. Peggy, who still carried the same fire as she did when they first met. Peggy who talked about her family with fierce pride he was in awe of and took a long few minutes to recognize him.

Peggy who was as different as she was familiar.

“You cannot expect me to remain the same for seventy years, Steve,” she replied amusedly as he pointed that out, “It has been a long and tumultuous life.”

“But, you are happy,” he concluded, staring at the photo frames on the desk.

Peggy laid a hand on top of his, “I am,” she said gently, “For a long time I’ve missed you. I thought I would never be as happy as I was with you. But, the war was over and there was a new world in front of me. Make no mistake. I will always love you, Steve Rogers, but I have learned to let you go and made my peace with it.”

Steve gazed wistfully at their hands and looked up at this formidable woman who had held his heart for so long, the only woman he had ever loved in his life. He looked at her and smiled, only a tad bitter, “I am happy for you, Peggy.”

Peggy only squeezed his hand in response.

* * *

He moved forward again. To find himself running across the country, hunted like a criminal.

And, all that matter was the present.

_ Fight today to live to see tomorrow_ .

Then, Natasha Romanov kissed him. 

Then, he gained a friend in her. 

He wasn’t in love with her, he couldn’t, not when Peggy was still fresh in his heart. Not when he couldn’t understand his own heart. But, Natasha had picked him up and helped him when nobody did. They fought and almost died together, trusting each other with their back, with their own life. 

They saved each other, again and again.

Recognizing themselves in each other’s eyes.

They were soldiers who had lived far beyond their time. They had bled for their nations and had sacrificed themselves at the altar of higher men’s ambitions.

Living in the present because the past had long passed and people like them didn’t truly think of tomorrow.

Steve would always remember Natasha best.

They found themselves at Sam Wilson‘s doorstep and gained an ally. 

Steve had looked on admiringly as Sam Wilson  _ flew _ .

Flew with _wings _ .

Sure, Steve could run faster than average, was harder to kill than most people, but the other man could  fly . 

To be fair, Stark did fly too with his suit. But, Steve was an old man, having wings were much more _his _ style than a powered-up suit.

If he had had wings, he would have been able to save Bucky.

The painful thought came up out of nowhere and almost made him jump in surprise.

_ Focus, Steve, live in the present_ .

He had gained two new friends and the universe decided,  _ Oh, here’s another friend for you, he’s an old one, but he wouldn’t recognize you_.

Steve found himself eye to eye with Bucky Barnes after seventy years. He looked exactly like the last time Steve saw him.

“Bucky?” he called out, hopeful and disbelieving at once.

Bucky frowned, indiscernible, “Who the hell is Bucky?”

Steve moved forward again and found himself hijacking a plane. Back doing the only thing he knew how no matter the era. Saving the world.

Only to find himself encountering Bucky and fought him. Again.

Steve was tired of it all. He wanted the past.

He wanted to dance with Peggy with his two left feet, trying to spin her around the floor. He wanted to grab Bucky’s hand in time so he wouldn’t fall down and die. He wanted his mother and her warm smile. 

So, he told Bucky to hit him.  _ If_, this man were Bucky and not some trickery HYDRA created to make him lower his guard. He told Bucky to hit him because he wanted desperately to believe it was Bucky. And Bucky would never hit him.

Bucky hit him. 

One, and two, and three until Steve’s face ached and bloody and his vision blurred.

Bucky asked him _ why  _ and Steve answered him deliriously, tethering on the edge of consciousness, “I’m with you ‘till the end of the line,” before falling.

He watched Bucky fell from a train seventy years ago and now Bucky watched him fell from a plane. How ironic.

_ I hope it was really Bucky_ , Steve thought grimly before everything went dark.

* * *

It took him fighting a robot to death and trying to stop a floating city from falling and destroying the world for him to finally butt heads with Tony Stark.

Oh, he knew they would butt heads. Everyone saw it coming. Hell, both of them saw it coming. It has been years in the making.

When it came, it came hard.

The funniest thing was Tony and he wanted the same thing. They desired peace. 

But, they believed in different methods to achieve it.

Tony wanted to limit their movements because they were dangerous when left unchecked. Tony wanted them to hand over their freedom to the hands of people who hardly knew any better than they did.

Tony wanted to be restricted because he felt guilty for all the things he had done with his own free will. But, Steve had fought and bled long enough to have left guilt behind.

Guilt had no place in their line of work. Guilt was a thing of the past. 

_ Live in the present_ .

The next thing he knew he was chasing after Bucky. 

He didn’t know why. Perhaps, because deep down he wanted to believe in the good he knew Bucky had. Because he truly believed the man was really Bucky.

Perhaps, he only wanted to prove Tony wrong. Just like he was wrong to support the Accords.

Then, they found out Bucky was Tony’s parents’ murderer. 

It left a bitter taste on his tongue.

Tony asked him whether he knew and Steve felt guilt for the first time since he had awakened in the future.

Here, they were now. It all had come down to this.

His past against his present.

For the first time in a while, Steve had to truly choose.

_Live in the present_.

But then Tony attacked him, and Steve’s choice was made for him.

He attacked back, decades of instinct forcing him to. Meeting Tony’s attack one by one. Attacking Tony back with a ferocity only trained soldiers possessed.

He wanted to believe he was defending himself. But the truth was he didn’t know why. The old Steve would be horrified. 

This Steve? 

This Steve was a soldier through and through. 

_ Fight or die_ .

Steve fought.

He won.

And he was ashamed.

He saved the world with this man. Trusted him with his own back and protected Tony’s back in return. Attempting to maintain peace together the only way weary saviors of the world knew.

Steve dropped his shield. 

How did he deserve it when he had hurt a friend with it?

Steve smiled bitterly as he hoisted Bucky away.

_ I’m with you ‘till the end of the line_ .

But what were they doing, fighting against friends and allies? 

Was Bucky Barnes worth the life Steve had been building for years now?

Bucky had never asked Steve to sacrifice himself for him.

_ You’re saving Bucky because he’s the last remnant of your past_, his mind whispered,  _ he’s all that left of the past you still cling onto_.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” Bucky murmured under his breath, words slurring together due to his pain, “He was your friend.”

Steve looked up to the sky, “Is,” he corrected, “He  _is_ my friend.”

“He will always have a friend in me, even if I no longer his.”

* * *

He spent years in hiding after that. Seeing more cities than he had ever imagined he would. Strolling down foreign streets filled with foreign languages as he held tightly to the phone. 

Waiting for a sign of forgiveness. Waiting to assuage his guilt. Wanting the Avengers tower and late-night meetings with stupid jokes and references he pretended to understand.

He waited for the phone to ring. For Tony’s voice to reverberated in his ears. For Steve to finally be able to apologise.

“You could just call first,” Natasha said one night after she noticed his staring at the phone.

Steve shook his head, “I can’t.”

She squeezed his shoulder gently, “You don’t know until you try, Steve.”

He stayed silent, letting the words washed over the room. Natasha only smiled sadly and said nothing. She gave his shoulder another squeeze before heading to the bathroom.

Steve sighed. 

The next thing he knew, the world was ending, and Tony Stark was missing.

He felt like a failure. A tiny part of him whispered,  _ Stark isn’t your responsibility_. 

It didn’t lessen the guilt.

He remembered visiting Peggy once before her funeral. Oh, God, her funeral. Steve had made himself sick with grief and self-loathing. Grief because he was losing another anchor to the past. Self-loathing because he felt like he didn’t grieve enough for her, as her own person.

There were days where Steve wondered whether he loved Peggy at all.  _ Once_.  _ A lifetime ago_.

He lived in the present now.

But he remembered visiting Peggy for the last time. Saw the sadness in her eyes as he told her what happened between him and Bucky. How he didn’t know what to do with Tony.

”You would love him if you knew him as a child, Steve,” Peggy uttered weakly, voice full of misery.

Steve stayed silent.  _ I love him even now_, he thought,  _he’s a friend, a comrade. He’s family_.

But, instead, “You knew him?”

“Of course,” Peggy wheezed, looking frail for the first time since his routine visits, “Of course I know him. Who watched over him when Howard and Maria were out there, expanding their business? Who do you think his godmother is?”

Steve let out a small smile,  _ of course_, “He never told me. Does he visit you often?”

Peggy blinked, “At first. But, he hates weaknesses, don’t you know it? He hates seeing me like this. He ceases his visits, only occasional flowers here and there. Some cards and letters if he’s not busy.”

“It’s not your fault you’re here. He shouldn’t be rude,” he replied, frowning.

“Oh, no,” she laughed quietly, “He doesn’t hate my weaknesses. He hates his own. Poor child, feeling so helpless he couldn’t help me more. I told him it’s alright. He’s rather stubborn. 

He’s a lot like you, you know.” She smiles conspiratorially as if sharing an important secret.

He said nothing but squeezed Peggy’s hand. They changed topics, talking for another hour. 

He kissed her head in goodbye when his phone rang, promising that he would visit her soon.

Two weeks later, she died.

Now, Tony was gone.

_ I’m sorry, Peg. I always let you down_ .

 _ Live in the present, Steve_ , his mother’s words rang on his ears. So, Steve jumped into the plane and flew away.

Maybe, it was too late to save Tony. But, not the world. Let it be known, Captain America was a worthless friend, yet a decent superhero. Somehow.

* * *

They arrived in Wakanda. Bucky greeted him and it felt like the war again. Him and Bucky. Bucky and him.

_Look, Mom. Look at us. Two kids from Brooklyn trying to save the world_.

The ray of sunlight hit his face. It felt like his mother’s smile. It felt like absolution.

The fight came. And it came hard. Steve breezed through the enemies like they were nothing but winds. His eyes found Thor’s across the field. There were a lot of questions —  _Tony. Did you see Tony _ — but they traded jokes instead.

Bucky was gone. So, was Sam. Wanda. Vision. T’Challa. 

His eyes met Thor and Natasha. The sun shined on them and accusations hang heavily on the air.

Twenty-three days passed. Hope remained. Tony Stark returned, with new friends and allies.

Days passed. They found Thanos. Decapitated him. Hope vanquished. No one came back. They all drifted apart.

* * *

Five years have gone before they were all gathered together again. Steve had listened to grieving people, accusing people, people who blamed him and hated him, people who still begged for his help.

Steve listened, helpless. 

He hadn’t been in the same room as Tony for five years. The only thing he knew of him was through Natasha. A private marriage and a child. 

_ Live in the present_ .

He tried. God knew he tried. But, the best he could do was to simply exist.

He didn’t know where Thor is, only his guilt heavy and his shame even greater. 

And Clint. He knew Natasha grieved over the man. They had been friends the longest over anyone else. There was nothing of him remained now. 

Bruce was out there somewhere, the only one of them who didn’t collapse from the weight of what had happened. Or, maybe he did and controlled it better than most of them.

Scott Lang showed up in front of them one day. He might as well lit Steve and Natasha’s heart with fire. Scott Lang showed up and they dared to breathe again. To hope again.

* * *

He hated pulling Tony from his makeshift bliss. The greater good, he tried to convince them both. But, what was greater good compared to the arm of the woman you loved and the love of your child?

There was a small part of Steve that burned in jealousy. It could’ve been Peggy and him. A house, children, and happiness. But, he chose the world over the woman he loved. That was a chapter closed in his life.

Tony deserved this. But, Peggy was right. They were cut from similar cloth, Tony and him. 

It was time to save the world again.

It had been five years since they all stood in the same room, trying to save the world. Steve hoped this would be the last.

_ Time travel_ . He wanted to laugh out loud at their plan. The world had gone mad. 

_ Time travel_ .

* * *

They arrived in 2012. 

His heart twisted as he looked at their old selves. Barely friends, acquaintances with common goals. But, closer than they ever were after Ultron. After the Accords.

A Stone was retrieved. Another slipped out of their hands. 

Tony and he traveled back to 1970.

It was so easy, he almost chortled in amusement . His laugh caught up in his throat when he spotted Peggy.

Peggy, the way he remembered her best. Alive and young. 

The only way he remembered her.

He wanted to run and hide. Even worse, he wanted to stay.

A part of him thought in a feat of madness,  _Give the particle to Tony and stay. Take Peggy to their long-awaited dance. Forget the world_.

Steve stared mournfully at the door and turned on his heel, walking away and out of the building.

He didn’t look back.

Howard, he recognised. Older, but still familiar. There wasn’t any sadness he felt when he saw the man. No lingering regret. 

He watched as father and son talked. Where would he be in this world? With Peggy and Howard running S.H.I.E.L.D.?

He was terrified when he couldn’t imagine it at all.

* * *

They returned safely to 2023. 

Natasha didn’t make it. Steve lost another friend.

He remembered Natasha and him on the run, staying up all night, just talking. He kissed her once, and twice, then none. Natasha and him being friends and allies. Each other’s secrets keepers.

His secrets now died with Natasha, somewhere in a cold, unfamiliar planet. But hers still lived in him. He pressed his forehead to the cool surface of the mirror before he went out. 

The grief had to wait. The world in need of saving.

* * *

The war came to them just like the last time. Unlike the last time, there were no Bucky and Sam and Natasha by his sides. There were Tony and Thor now. Maybe the outcome would be different.

Steve hoped and for the first time in a long time, he prayed.

Everything was a blur. His feet moved in a flurry of steps. Attack, defence, running headfirst to the enemies, and running from the enemies.

Thor’s hammer,  _ Mjolnir_, found its way to his grasp. Steve held tightly on it and begged for divine intervention. 

Sam’s voice, God, Steve almost forgot how it sounded, crackled on his ear after five years.

For the first time in his new life, a miracle happened.

Bucky stood there with Sam on his side. So many familiar faces stared back at him across the battlefield. He would have sunk into his knees in relief if he could, but the war raged on. 

He could only whisper his gratefulness. To God, to Thor’s fellow gods, to his mother.

Then, of course.

An eye for an eye.

One life for millions.

There were times, much much later, when he imagined that he had been the one to use the Stones and disintegrate Thanos and his armies. He had nothing to lose. No family to mourn him. Maybe Bucky, or Sam, perhaps even Tony for a while. But, then their lives would go on again.

He had dreams in where he wore the gauntlet instead and snapped his fingers. There was darkness before his mother’s smile greeted him, Peggy and Natasha behind her. His old army friends and Dr Erskine next to them. There were even Howard and his wife. 

He would smile back at his mother and let himself be led into his new home. He woke up every time he almost entered the place.

And Tony lied there, cold in Pepper and Peter’s arms, his eyes unseeing. 

_ You’re going to see him again, Peg_ , and choked down the tears that threatened to fall.

* * *

The funeral was a sombre affair. He stood next to Pepper who held Morgan tightly in her arms. The only person he had buried before were his parents and there were a small gathering of people back then.

Tony’s funeral felt like coming home in comparison. Everyone who loved Tony and he loved in return was there. He felt almost like an intruder.

Steve felt his own grief then, tangible and real. It took all his efforts to not double over in pain. It was even worse than Peggy’s funeral.

He approached Pepper after the funeral, and she stopped him before he managed to speak a word with a shake of her head. She reached out to squeeze his hand and Steve let her. They sat down on the back porch, crying over Tony.

When it was all over, she looked at him, “What are you going to do next?”

He stared at his feet, “We’re going to return the Stones to their original places.”

“No,” Pepper said insistently, “What are  _you _ going to do next?”

And at that moment, he understood. Steve shrugged, at loss for words.

“I don’t know,” he said after a few beats, “Buy a farm? Live the rest of my life in obscurity?”

“Well,” she stood up, “You’re always welcome here. Morgan and I will be happy to see you. Tony would deny it if he were here, but you’re Morgan’s favourite Avenger.”

Steve looked up and laughed wetly, his first laugh in days, “I’ll do my best.”

Pepper nodded and smiled back at him, small and sad, but without bitterness, “See that you do.”

He walked away.

* * *

A few days later, he came back to Bucky and Sam and Bruce waiting for him. They nodded at him when he arrived.

“Yes, Bruce,” he said teasingly at the rambling scientist, at this man who finally found his confidence in his power, “I know. I’ve done this before.”

Bruce only smiled back, a little bashful. 

Bucky approached him and there was a light in his eyes as if he knew something he didn’t. They shared a few words. Words that he hadn’t heard for what felt like ten lifetimes. It sounded so final, like a goodbye. Steve refrained telling Bucky that it would only take five seconds. He settled for a smile.

He nodded at Sam before making his way to the portal. He took one sweeping look at Bucky and Sam. There was an ache in his heart because he expected Natasha to stand there between them and it would be well again. These were the days when he missed the simpler times of living in hiding.

Natasha was the only reason why they survived back then.

But, Natasha was gone. Only, they remained. 

How would they survive now?

He averted his eyes from them and nodded at Bruce, signalling his readiness.

* * *

Steve was gone in a flash.

He returned everything to their places. Asgard,Vormir, New York, and the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarter.

A split decision and he found himself in front of Peggy’s office door. It was easy to knock and enter the room, asking Peggy for a dance. To stay, to have what Tony had. A family.

Maybe, they would watch over Tony together. This time, just maybe, he could protect Tony. Prevent him and his parents from dying before their times.

But, his hands stayed on his sides. 

He found himself sitting on Peggy’s room in the hospital, staring at the photo frames on her bedside table. Listening to her declaring her happiness. The long and full life she had had. 

Would it be the same with him?

He knocked on the door and twisted the knob.

He found himself staring at Peggy Carter, astonishment clear on her face. He stepped forward and held his hand out, “Would you dance with me?”

Peggy stood quickly, pushing her chair back. Her eyes swept over him and Steve’s chest was tight with love at the sight.

She nodded and turned on the old radio at the corner of the room.

They danced there in a small office, him spinning her around. From the walls, her achievements peered down at him. His heart swelled with pride. 

Steve let his cheek rest atop Peggy’s head and breathed her in. No words were exchanged between them. They simply swayed to the music.

He pulled away when the last note of the song was over. Peggy reached out to touch his cheek and Steve leaned into it.

“You’re real.”

Steve only smiled.

“Stay,” she added, “ _Please_.”

For a moment, Steve almost caved in. But then he recalled dancing with Natasha under the dimly lit hotel room. Watching Tony making coffee in the Avengers Tower, whistling to some random tunes Steve could never recognise. He thought back to Pepper’s tearstained face and her invitation to dinner and visits.

He stepped back and Peggy’s face crashed. 

“You’ll be happy,” he declared, remembering her own declaration from years later, “But it won’t be with me.”

Steve smiled, bittersweet. 

“I love you and I’ve learned to let you go,” his words an echo of hers, decades from then.

Peggy gazed at him, her eyes shiny, and nodded. She went back to sit on her chair, “This is goodbye then.”

He grinned weakly, “A proper goodbye after all these years. Better than I could give you years ago.

Thank you for everything, Peggy Carter.”

Steve left the room and the past behind.

This time, for good.

* * *

One second later, he was standing in front of Sam, Bucky, and Bruce again.

“Steve?” Bucky’s face contorted into a surprised frown, “What are you doing?”

The sun hit him directly in the eyes. It didn’t hurt. 

“I’m home.”

* * *

[+1]

“Uncle Steve,” Morgan squealed, rushing to greet him, “I’m cooking pasta.”

Steve crouched down and swept Morgan into his arms. _She was getting heavier_ , he noted in dismay. 

“Are you now? Or, is it your Mom?” He teased her fondly.

“Of course it’s me,” Morgan pouts and twists in his arms, “Mom, tell Uncle Steve I’m cooking pasta.”

Pepper entered the room with a wry smile, “Hello, Steve, as you can see, I’m helping Morgan with her pasta.”

“Can I help?” He asked Morgan cheerfully.

The girl nodded furiously, beaming, “Yes, but let me down first.” Steve put her down gently. 

She reached out to entwine her fingers with his and pulled him toward the kitchen. He passed Pepper and smiled.

She smiled back, “It’s good to see you again.”

“It’s good to be back,” he replied.

**Author's Note:**

> yup, peggy carter as tony’s godmother is the hill i’m willing to die on. there’s sort of bittersweet feeling of peggy being tony’s godmother and steve being the godfather-like figure in morgan’s life. this fic is way too long and if you stay until the end wOw thank you so much.
> 
> and i know i forgot sharon but i just didn’t know how to incorporate her into the fic and i just ended up leaving her out i feel guilty.


End file.
